He was asleep, just chillin', you know, rubbing, having one of them dreams, (mimes sleeping man feeling for penis) and woke up and wasn't nothin' there.
You know what I'm saying? And the lady cut it off, man, and cut it off while he was asleep and he ain't even know it was gone. You know, if you can't do this in your life somethin's missin'. He ain't ever gonna really be able to do this. cause she took his thang man, you know what I'm saying? He can't do this (mimes intercourse).
You know what I'm saying? But I mean, I feel for that man though, man. And this scares me, OK? Because I know women are mad in the 90s, especially white women, I mean, this is the year where they smash your knees and cutting the pilly-packers off.
Martin lawrence snl monologue license#
They got license to cut your thing off, man. The ladies, in the 90s, have license to cut off the pilly-packers. You know, uh, and it's crazy, uh, and no fella has come up to me, none of the brothers, anybody, has acted like it concerns them as much as it has me. You know, "you can't say this, you can't say that," I'm like, well, how am I gonna talk about the world? You know? I mean I need to talk about something to you all, can I- can I do it? Can I talk to y'all? (Cheers & applause) I mean, I-I hope the kids are in bed, you know, because I got to talk, y'all. It's crazy though, I gotta talk about some things that the daggone censors are followin' me everywhere around, wish they'd get off my ass- oops, damn, did I slip? All of 'em on here, and I was like "when I'm gonna get my chance? When I'm gonna get my chance?" Well dammit, now is my chance. I mean, hostin' Saturday Night Live, I watched everybody. Man, I-I am so happy to be here, this is a dream come true for me. No, I guess this ain't the Def Jam, right, so I-I guess I better be cool, huh? I got some black folks out there to back me up though. Yeah! Man, man oh man, look at all these white people. Below, relive 13 of the most divisive appearances on “Saturday Night Live.Martin Lawrence: Yeah! Thank you, thank you, thank you very much. Can Elon Musk change the conversation? He’s hardly the most controversial host (or guest) on the show, which has a rich history of them. Regardless, the stunt casting decision should throw some fresh (and much-needed) fuel on the NBC sketch comedy series, which has had a superb run of hosts this year but hasn’t retained much cultural relevance. Still, he has plenty of experience on TV, including “Rick and Morty” and “The Big Bang Theory,” and his Twitter activity suggests someone capable (maybe?) of laughing at themselves. Musk is easily one of the richest people on the planet, so some felt it was a little out of touch to bring aboard someone without much in the way of cultural bonafides. The CEO and Technoking of Tesla as well as the Chief Engineer of SpaceX sparked outrage when sharing the announcement last month, prompting cast members Bowen Yang, Andrew Dismukes, and Aidy Bryant to throw barely veiled shade at their upcoming host. The news that Elon Musk would be hosting the May 8 episode of “Saturday Night Live” wasn’t exactly met with the warmest of welcomes, by either fans or the cast.
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